Kinder than Neccessary

"'Shall we make a new rule of life...always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?' What a marvelous line, isn't it? Kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed...That line, that concept, reminds us that we carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness...If every single person in this room made it a rule that wherever you are, whenever you can, you will try to act a little kinder than is necessary - the world really would be a better place. And if you do this, if you act just a little kinder than is necessary, someone else, somewhere, someday, may recognize in you, in every single one of you, the face of God."

Go ahead, read it again. I'll wait for you. All of you...go read it again. 

The quotation above is from the book Wonder by R. J. Pallacio, which I had to read for my inclusive education class this year. I definitely recommend it if you are an educator or are interested in inclusion and children in any way. Actually, you should read it just for the adorable story! I cried more than once. Which, if you know me and books is highly unusual...right? Okay, maybe not. But still. 

This was one of those books that had me sitting there scribbling down quotations the entire time. The one above has to be one of my favourites. So much truth packed into those words. What if? What if we made that our motto in life, to be just a little kinder than is necessary? I think every person in the class adopted those words as their own teaching philosophy by the end of the term. But this quote struck me for more reasons than just being a teacher. 

I think the idea of being kinder than necessary is so applicable to our lives. Now, let me clarify that this does not mean having no boundaries. Boundaries are good and healthy components of our lives. But just take a minute to imagine some of your daily encounters lived by this principle. Lately this has meant that when one of my kindergarten students came up to me with a scab on his finger and horrified expression on his face and said "ummm Miss? This came off of my body and now there is bloooood!" (yes, exactly like that YouTube video), instead of responding in frustration because I had only reminded him to stop touching his face a bazillion times, maybe taking a deep breath and giving a gentle and logical reminder that this is why we don't pick scabs would be a perfectly fine accompaniment to a natural consequence.

Or when that person in line at grocery store is rude to you? Why not just give a nice smile instead of feeling annoyed at them and your plight in the ever-horrible grocery line lottery of life. I could go on and on (and most of my latest personal reminders have to do with kindergarten), but I hope that this little quotation gives you too, some food for thought today. The choice is yours - you have the capacity to be kind. We all make choices regarding our actions and we each possess the ability to choose kindness. And just maybe, someone will see the face of God in you. Because isn't that what everyone needs? 

Heroes

I wasn't planning to post today...I have one that I am struggling to come up with words for on the go, and it's taking some time.

But then I was listening to the new Casting Crowns album, after one of my wonderful friends told me I needed to check it out. I thought it would make a nice studying soundtrack, so I drifted over to YouTube to give it a listen. Studying? Nope. Not happening. I had to share this song, because it so touched my heart.

I am overwhelmed with the heroes in my life...in every situation, everywhere I turn, when I am struggling and when I am celebrating, there are heroes. I am so grateful today for the incredible blessing of the people in my life...I could never articulate it fully.

These are the heroes, just ordinary people

Laying down their lives like angels in disguise

They're weak but always willing

They dare to do the hard things

And in the dark and desperate places no one else goes

You'll find the heroes

You'll find the heroes

I was listening to this song, and person after person came to my mind. I would hope that all the heroes in my life would know how they have impacted me, but I doubt it. Life can really stink sometimes, but where would any of us be without heroes? So for those ordinary people, willing to do the hard things, thank you. I wish I had more words, but thank you. 

Be someone's hero today.

10 things I like...about myself!

I am finally giving in and posting my own list of 10 things I like about myself. I was inspired by my friend Sarah over at Camp Girl in the Real World, who wrote her own post in response to Christy's (the author of another (new) favourite blog of mine, Avoiding Atrophy - thanks Sarah!). Basically, the idea is that we (women in particular) tend to negate compliments given to us, putting ourselves down but disguising it as humility. We don't want to be vain and arrogant, but what we end up doing is bringing a whole pile of negativity into our lives.  Do you believe that people were created with individual uniqueness, value, and abilities? I sure do! And this includes you and me. However, it is also obvious that we are not perfect people, especially to ourselves.

"But if you believe that you were created and endowed with certain gifts and abilities despite those shortcomings, why oh why would you degrade them? Why would you make your gifts seem like less? How is that humility?" (Christy's words)

The point then, is that it's okay to like things about ourselves, and to appreciate our own talents, ideas, skills, personalities, etc. In fact, it's even a good great thing! And she challenged readers to do the same. I think this is a fantastic idea, so I am joining the party (albeit a little late). So, without further ado, here are 10 things I like about myself.

1. I am creative. I love that I can sew, rock the world of DIY, and come up with unique ideas and ways of doing things.

2. I am organized. I can keep track of things, make lists (anyone who knows me well knows that I even think in lists lol), and make use of small spaces. This skill is super useful as a teacher, student, and overall camp person too!

3. I picked a great guy. For real though. I am proud of myself for waiting until the right time and for the right person (let's be honest, very few people could handle all my craziness anyways). And I'm glad he picked me too ;)

4. I can make people laugh. The other day I told one of my housemates that I missed our other housemate and she replied with, "that's because they [she and her boyfriend] think you are funny!" And she's right - I like that we laugh when we hang out. (She wasn't being mean or anything by the way - she just knew it would make me smile).

5. I'm great with kids - I love kids, and I think over time that built into me also having a lot of skills in this area. That's probably why I am taking Children's Studies and Education and have spent every summer since forever working at camps (aside from the one where I nannied...more children).

6. I can cook delicious food! Being able to cook tasty meals is a fantastic skill to have...great for having people over, makes life exciting, and boys love it! Or, at least one does ;) So chances are high that other people would too. Plus, eating is one of my favourite activities so it's basically ah-mazing.

Baked potato, parmesan asparagus, and filet mignon
- date night at home!

Student life can taste pretty good sometimes...

7. I'm not afraid to have my own ideas. This was (and is) a hard thing to learn, but I like that I have done things that other people think are crazy - like make my own deodorant!

8. My interests make the world a better place - some things I love are to care for kids, take care of the environment, and encourage others, which are all things that brighten the world a little bit in some way.

9. I love my curls. Some people really don't like their hair, and sure, I bemoan the beast that sometimes appears on my head, but I really do love the fact that I have curly hair.

Apparently a random prom picture is the last one I have that adequately showcases my hair. We shall pretend I am not a baby in it and this is a recent picture...because my hair still looks like that, promise (and plus, I am not about to look through more pictures for...my hair). 

10. I build strong relationships, with my family, friends, and my boyfriend. I am definitely a relational person, and people are important to me.

What are things you like about yourself? I challenge you, too, to think about some things that are great about YOU, whether you write it on a piece of paper or journal, write a blog post of your own, or in any format you like!

I have to say, this was probably the hardest blog post I've written to date (even including my 'Why does it matter?' post, that took me pretty much forever to write), which probably speaks to the point Christy was making in the first place. Such a great idea :)

P.s. Check out the linkup over at Avoiding Atrophy and take a peek at some of the other posts linked there! And Sarah's post is the second one, after Christy's!

11 Lessons I Learned From Summer Camp

Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I'm dating Superman? 

I am a camp girl, through and through. Every year, as soon as Christmas is done, I feel the familiar twinge to start thinking about and planning for camp. Which just begins a 4-month long battle with myself to keep doing schoolwork. It's a serious struggle guys. I have attended or worked at a camp every year since I was 7 or 8, and I am now convinced it runs through my blood. It really is my happy place. My childhood summer camp (this one) impacted my life in some significant ways growing up and I think I am who I am because of so many things I learned and the people I met while I was there.

I was reflecting on my experiences at overnight camp and day camp, both as camper and staff member, the other day in a class. There is an option to take the fourth year core course for Children's Studies (my major) in the summer as a month long trip to South Africa, working and learning in a rural community there. I can't even consider it because I will have a teaching placement for the whole time the trip will be happening, but many people from my class were pretty excited about the prospect. It struck me as strange when two girls asked if they would have internet and the teacher replied that they wouldn't and that the cell reception might be choppy too, and they immediately opted out. They just could not bear to be without the internet - even for this super amazing, once in a lifetime opportunity! I leaned over to my friend and said "wow, apparently summer camp taught me more than I thought..."

But then I really thought about it, and realized I have a whole bunch of life lessons that I learned at camp. Here are some that stand out to me now.

1. How to eat chocolate pudding with no hands in 3 seconds flat. Alright, I might not have attained quite that level of awesome-ness, but after nearly a decade of practice, you do get pretty good. And either way, you get messy - which, of course, is the point. If it seems too boring to cover yourself with pudding in the dining hall, feel free to move to the field and just have a war. Whatever floats your boat people! Camp is where I learned that it is perfectly OK to be crazy and weird and to just let go and have a good time without worrying about what everyone else thinks. Who cares if you are covered in chocolate pudding anyways, because we all know who is going to smell like chocolate at the end of it all! (We won't discuss how difficult it is to get pudding out of your hair and ears and clothing - that's a whole post on its own. Needless to say, most of us have acquired a pudding/ketchup/mustard fight shirt along the way).

My friend Nathan (PC) after a pudding fight

2. There is a camp song for EVERYTHING. Truly. Pretty much any life experience can relate to a camp song. Stuck on the subway? "I am slowly going crazy...." Craving fast food? "A pizza hut, a pizza hut..." Visit the Ripley's Aquarium? "Shark attack..." Need I go on?

3. To love nature. Spending your summers outside does that to you I think. I can still pick out a beech tree because the bark looks like elephant knees, and I love explaining to my cousins that the buzzing they hear on a hot summer day is the cicadas in the trees. As a kid I kind of laughed when the director at camp would always tell us to "be kind to the trees," explaining that when she was a kid they weren't there and it was horrible not having the shade. Then I grew up and moved to the city and it alllll made sense, because it's sad that there are no trees for shade and fresh air. I realized how much nature gives to us and how important it is to not just throw it all away.

4. How to work until you are exhausted and just keep going. I remember my aunt telling me one afternoon when I was about 13 that camp was where she learned how to work until she was exhausted and figure out how to keep going anyways. She said this while holding a newborn so I figured she probably had a solid point. I also remember sitting on my bed 3 years later, in the middle of a 2.5 hour long thunderstorm at about 3 AM with 8 campers (they were between 5 and 9 years old) lined up in a row, wide awake, and singing to them so they wouldn't cry and thinking "OHHHHHH, so this is what she was talking about - I GET it!"

5. To not waste. Camp is where I learned the true meaning of "reduce, reuse, and recycle." Whether it is in crafts class, for a game, or just pure function, almost everything can have another use. Empty juice jugs become water jugs to take to campfire, orange peels can be thrown in the fire to get rid of mosquitos, old coat hangers become sculptures in crafts class, etc.

6. The importance of developing new skills. I have so many skills that I learned at camp that some of my other friends don't have, and as a kid especially I remember feeling proud of those accomplishments. For one, I learned how to build a one-match-fire and I got really good at it (thanks Chortle and Allegro ;), which is a really useful skill to have! I also learned that air riflery is super fun and I'm pretty good at it - which I can guarantee I NEVER would have tried outside of camp. I learned how to cook tons of things over the fire, including mac n' cheese, pizza, sloppy joes, burgers, pancakes, fajitas, etc. And I can make a corn husk doll with my eyes closed, as well as steer a canoe (I am continually shocked at how many people can't do that!). Some of these skills are super random, like knowing how to tell if it's going to rain by the trees and the anthills, and pretty much all of them have proved useful at some point or another outside of camp. But most importantly, camp taught me the value in continually developing new skills as a person and that you are never done learning.

7. How long you can REALLY go without a shower. Because when you are busy making bracelets at free time and planning the evening program, or maybe going turtle hunting, nobody's got time for showering. It's much easier to just jump in the pool at the end of the afternoon and pretend like your hair isn't a greasy mess...or wash your hair in the pond at cabin time (makes your hair silky smooth ;). All you camp people reading this know what I'm talking about. Your morning beauty routine consists of brushing your teeth. I would feel very accomplished if I managed to wash my face and still make it to staff meeting on time. Of course the best thing is that when you do finally shower at camp, everyone comments on how great you look because you are so clean and radiant. That's all it takes! And then you have a campfire and run (just kidding guys, you should't run near the fire...right? ;) through the smoke to keep the bugs away and start over.

8. How to go off the grid. We only used our cell phones, lap tops, iPods, etc. on Saturdays during our day off. A whole summer of that (or even a week) clears your mind like nothing else. I felt like I could think so much more clearly, and all the garbage that is pushed at you all year through the radio, ads, or even just people at school could clear out of my mind and I could just be. I have since realized that people are so incredibly attached to their technological devices and it's really difficult for people to be completely removed from it. I will never forget a particular moment when we were making a giant sundae for the entire girl's division in eaves-troughs, and one of the parents who was working for just a week pulled out his phone to take a picture of me and said "when you are a grown up and sleep in your own cabin you get to break the rules because no one can stop you." I was frustrated for many reasons, mostly of course that he felt the need to mock me and the rest of the staff who were upholding these rules, but what really stood out to me was how sad it was. The moment was completely lost on him - here we were with 60 kids simultaneously eating a sundae when they normally would be in bed and they were having a blast in this magical moment and this person was taking a picture on his phone just to prove a point. Being so unattached from technology gives you the freedom to completely delve into those moments, to cultivate deeper relationships with kids, and to just have a break. Of course there is a time and place for everything, including technology, and I would be lying if I wasn't checking my phone as I sit here typing on my computer, while there is a film playing in front of me in my lecture (just keeping it real here). But the ability to just turn off your phone and relax, process, or visit with people can serve a very important function in our lives and can be very healthy in its own way.

9. How over the top consumer culture is. When you have no malls to go to, hear no advertisements, don't eat out, and just spend a summer living in nature, you come home and feel completely overwhelmed for a few weeks because it hits you all at once. Even now, I crave the simplicity of living at camp for a couple months.

10. What a great friend looks like. I am pretty sure that some of the greatest people on planet earth are camp people. There is nothing like being surrounded by a group of people who are supporting each other, who will pray for you constantly, and who will laugh with you. I have met some really wonderful people through camps, including, of course, my boyfriend Wes ;)

11. How to make my faith my own. Possibly the most significant thing I learned from camp over my life was and is about making my faith my own. I would recommend a leadership training program like the one I attended as a teenager to anyone just for the amazing personal growth it includes. But most of all, I learned who I was and why I believed what I did. I learned to make my beliefs mine and not to just follow what everyone else was doing. Camp is where I started reading my Bible and figuring out what was actually in there, and where I questioned how I lived and what it all meant to me. I had relationships with people who could help me when I had questions or needed encouragement, and who I could turn to with any prayer request or just to talk. I think it was a really important part of my journey as a Christian.

One Small Change

When you first start thinking about natural living, it can be a little bit overwhelming. That's how I felt, at least! There are so many things that could be harmful or toxic, so many changes to make, and I had no clue where to start. Today I am going to share how I tackled this problem years ago, and actually, how I still do today.

One at a time. The easiest way to make your lifestyle more natural, is to make one small change at time. I know, you are all blown away by my brilliant ingenuity, right? In reality, this idea is not a new one. There are tons of websites and blogs out there encouraging people to make one small change a month, in order to "green your lifestyle" or whatever you want to call it. So whether you want to have a more natural home or save a few bucks, Julie Andrews said it best,

"let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start." 

Like I said in my previous post, making my own deodorant was the first switch I made for my life. I decided that it was something I could do, and I had 2/3 of the ingredients on hand already. After I finished that project, I simply picked another one. The easiest way to make these changes is to just keep replacing a product as it runs out.

I am going to try and post on this topic regularly so that hopefully some of you will be inspired as well. Some of these ideas are ones I have already posted on (and some I plan to post on), and you can check in with the "Make the Switch" tab at the top of the page for more ideas as I add them.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Make your own deodorant
• Use a reusable water bottle
• Switch your face wash
• Stop buying paper towels 
• Clean your windows with vinegar
• Use a natural toner
• Use coconut oil for eye make up remover
• Introduce essential oils into your home

Why Does it Matter?

So some of you may be thinking, Melissa, why does it matter whether I eliminate toxins from my home, food, and environment? Who cares about 'healthy' food - I'm in university, we're supposed to eat crap! Why does it matter if I make things myself instead of buying it from the store? Why does it matter if I shut off the lights when I leave the room or choose to put an extra blanket on my bed instead of turning up the heat? Why does it matter if I compost and recycle? Why would I spend my money on organic sheets or fair trade chocolate?

OK, maybe some of you weren't wondering quite exactly that,  but for those of you who are (or are now), I want to take a second and explain why on earth any of this even enters my mind. So if you want to find out, grab a cup of tea and prepare yourself...here goes.

I get questions and comments from people in my life all the time, whether they are family, friends, or random people in class. Sometimes they think it's cool that I brought almonds to class in a reusable sandwich bag. But most of the time, I'm pretty sure people think I'm a little nuts or have these impractical, larger-than-life, dreamy notions that will require me to marry rich. To be honest, for a while I was kind of self-conscious about it all. I mean, almost no one in my life was worried about what they used to clean their windows in high school. And I certainly didn't know a soul who was making their own deodorant. It was a little quirky, and I was ok with that, but it just seemed to be such a big deal and required a whole explanation to bring it up and end the discussion with the other person still believing I was mostly normal, so I shied away from talking about it. Even today, people will tell me flat out that I'm dumb. Somewhere along the lines, though, I got over it. I'm sure a big part of it was just growing up, finding my groove, and doing my own thing.

But back to the original question, why do I care?

That time when I was 17 and Wes had a furry animal growing on his head ;) 

It's good stewardship. 
I believe that everything I have has been given to me by God. I want to use my resources to the best of my abilities, so that I can bring Him glory, and serve others. For me, that means making a wise use of these things. I consider what food I eat, what products and medications I use, how much sleep I get, and so on because I only have one body and I want to be able to use it well (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). I want to take care of the planet, because it's not mine to destroy. It was lovingly designed for all people to enjoy and care for (Nehemiah 9:6). I try to be wise with my money and possessions, because they weren't designed to control me and fuel my own selfishness (trust me, I need no help) (Matthew 6:19-21), but to provide for my needs and those of others. I only have one life to live, and I want to use it well.

When I was talking to one of my aunts during the writing of this post, I think she summed this all up well, "it [the decay in the world - ill health caused by food and its effects, etc.], is a macro reminder of how God created Creation to work in unity and in unison. Respectfully…With a servant’s heart…Mutuality. It is likely not the sexiest reason, but it all matters and we should not or need not be wasteful with what we have. We try to live a life of generosity AND simplicity. To me it is impossible to do either without prioritizing natural living." Annnnnd...Amen.

I feel better. 
When I take the time to care for my body, I am more free to be the best me I can be. I notice a tangible difference in the way I feel,  the amount of energy I have, how alert I am, etc. Being energetic allows me to put more into being a good teacher, student, friend, family member. When I am taking care of myself, I get sick less often (very rarely, actually), and don't need to waste time dealing with that. My skin is better, I sleep better, and my mood is better. I could go on for a LONG time on this one. I'll spare you that because I'm sure you get the point ;)

I feel better when I am being wise with my money. I mean, as a student, every dollar saved is one I don't have to pay off later. While it involves a LOT of delayed gratification, the thought of paying of school debt is pretty daunting so I get pretty excited about that haha. Saving money where I can, also frees up more money for the things that are most important in life. The more 'flex dollars' I have (as I like to think of them), the more I can choose where those dollars go instead of spending them on fixed expenses like face wash or deodorant that I have to buy at regular intervals.

Once you know...
I have this reoccurring problem where I find out something is toxic or unhealthy, or find a way to make a product more easily myself, and it drives me CRAZY after that. It's actually really annoying. I keep hearing myself tell friends, "don't research it unless you are ready to change it...because you might have to after that!" haha. Am I the only one who has this problem?

All that being said, the same reasoning provides a basis for grace and moderation. This idea of responsibility, stewardship, and mutuality. Not everyone makes the same choices, has the same priorities, or has access to the same things (either by money or location). That's OK! There is more to life than being physically healthy or saving every possible penny or being a perfectly responsible citizen.

As the professor in my Inclusive Education class said, "the human always comes first." The context of the discussion was that while it's great to have a schedule, a plan, and a direction in your classroom, every student is exceptional and people come before all our teacher-y plans. I think that statement translates into every area of life though. Ultimately, our bodies won't last forever and our money and possessions won't come with us when we die. Loving others is SO much more important. That is our real responsibility, I think. At the end of my life, I don't want people talking about how eco-friendly my home was, or how great I was at making own soap. I want to be known as someone who served others, as someone who loved deeply, and as someone was God's love in action to those around me. I so often fall short of this standard - most of the time, in fact. But my heart's desire is that none of this natural living stuff would come between me and the people God has placed in my life.

Do I eat real, whole foods? Sure. Sometimes. But other days I eat the unhealthy food my housemate brings home from the day care she works at because it's free and I'm craving carbs. Just last night I went to McDonald's with my housemates and got a McFlurry. And it was DELICIOUS! Do I make my own face wash? Yes, and I love it! But I also put mousse, gel, and/or hairspray in my hair all the time - because goodness knows I'm not about to anger the beast on top of my head if at all possible. It's not about measuring, comparing, or an all-or-nothing lifestyle.

So let's not let our food, our Pinterest boards, our level of DIY skills, or what kind of shampoo we use be a source of judgement - whether that is "I can't believe they eat that organic food all the time, it's so obnoxious," or, "why are they eating ice cream for supper? Don't they know that sugar shuts down your immune system?" Whatever kind of judgement you have for someone else on something as silly as this, get rid of it people! Life is bigger than that.

Ahem. I will now step off my soapbox.